Thursday, August 27, 2009


I am a little angry.I woke up (uncomfortably in the recliner next to the bed since my leg is still encased in this ginormous brace and I STILL have to lay on back, which hurts my back bc my giant butt makes a giant dip in my back while I sleep) and turned on the tv only to see that VH1 was doing a "Voluptuous Vixen" countdown. My first thought was "YaY!! Let's get some recognition for not being anorexic sticks shaped like 12 year-old boys." But then I saw the women on the countdown. There were some wonderful choices such as Scarlet Johanson, Salma Hayek, an indian star whose name I can't remember, and of course Kim Kardashian, but then they pulled out freakin' Adrienna Lima and some model named Latisha something, and Carmen Electram Those woman are NOT "voluptuous" they are just big-breasted! Voluptuous wimming are curvy, they have hips to hold on to, broader shoulders & rib cages, and butts that you can actually grab. Hollywood disgusts me. Thank you VH1 for recognizing a few good women who embrace their TRUE curves, but you really dissapointed me with a few of your choices. Seriously, Adrienna Lima??

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Surgery a sort-of success

Well, the surgery is finally over. However, it was nothing like I, or my doctor, expected. Apparently I didn't tear my meniscus or even tear the ligaments they thought I had, instead I somehow managed to chip my femur right where it meets my patella and tore a lot of ligaments around that area. So instead of just repairing some ligaments and re-aligning my knee cap they had to drill 4 holes in my femur to allow cartlidge to re-grow and then shave down the chip and the underside of my patella. So now I have to be off my leg for 4 weeks instead of 2 weeks. Looks like Josh will be getting plenty of good husband practice :).

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Then real life began...

I love my husband and I love being married. However, the wonderful-ness of having Big Mark and the Wendy pay all my bills is greattttly missed. While the mortgage, utility bill, cell bill, satelite bill, and car insurance isn't so bad, my medical bills are killlling me (which is quite ironic if you think hard about it).
I am having knee surgery next Monday (so definitley expect LOTS of posts while I am glued to the couch) and I was certainly not prepared for the ridiculous amount of money it would cost Josh and I for my knee to be fixed. Instead of the surgery being the expensive part, it's been the prep. for the surgery that had cost us an arm and a leg (or at least an arm and a knee, yes I really just did that). While it is only going to cost us about $400 for the actual surgeon, an MRI of my left leg cost $600!! Someone please explain to me how it cost more for a person to punch a button and send me through an insanely loud machine than it does to have someone expertly slice my leg open, smooth out the back of my kneecap, realign my kneecap and repair my miniscus?!!? I mean that $600 could have gone to a much more useful purchase such as a precious new Coach bag in the beautiful "Poppy" collection, or 2 1/2 pairs of Rock and Republic jeans. Seriously.

So much to say, so little time to say it

I just want to write, my life goal has always been to write for Southern Living, write a book, then retire nice and filthy rich... maybe I should say life dream, because I am not so sure this goal can be reached. I work at a VERY small-town newspaper not writing, selling. Ads. Do you how hard it is to sell ads in this day and time and at a newspaper with a circulation of about $4,000? Not only do I sell ads, or TRY to sell ads, I don't even sell them in the town the paper is located.
I don't even like to read our newspaper and I LIVE in town, why would anyone else want to?
So, I look for other jobs, get told I'm "over-qualified" to be a receptionist, too "inexperience" (a.k.a. young) to be a Director or Manager of anyone, and I just refuse to make less than $15/hr or $22k/yr with an effin' bachelor's degree. I hated school and busted my butt to get a degree in 3 1/2 years, I just don't want to settle for something like "Administrative Assistant to the Receptionist of the CFO" or "Customer Service Representative". My friends say, "Oh Lauren, $8/hr isn't really that bad." well, they don't have to pay a mortgage or any other bills, nor do they have a slight addiction to designer jeans & Monkee's of Greenville.
I just want to write, or be the person BUYING the ads for a client, not selling them. I want to create slogans, come up with inventive ideas for a companies exposure, plan events for someone, handle public relations, WRITE, or anything that involves me getting to put on a power suit, tell someone why they need me, and being creative.
But instead... I drive around all day in my poor, beat-up Rodeo and attempt to peddle advertising for a slowly dying newspaper in a town where nobody has heard of my newspaper. Rock out.