Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The 5 Love Languages

Josh and I are in a great Sunday School class at our church for young, married couples and we recently started a new lesson - "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman (an NC native). 

We have loved it. 

After we learned what the five love languages are (Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service or Receiving Gifts), we guessed at what each of ours were. 

I knew immediately that Josh's main language had to be Physical Touch. While I enjoy a hug, kiss, snuggle and such, I also like my own personal space, but Josh is the opposite. He NEEDS to have his head rubbed or for me to hold his hand when we're in the car and he came from a family that loves to hug and kiss and such. I guessed his secondary love language would be Receiving Gifts, just because Josh loves to open presents.

Hubby guessed that my primary love language would be Words of Affirmation, just because I say "i love you" or compliment him or thank him so often. I agreed. I don't get off the phone with family and friends until I say "i love you" and I like it to be the last thing I say to Josh before I leave the house in the morning too. He guessed my secondary would be Quality Time.

Then...we took the assessment to see what our language really is.

My primary was (as we guessed) Words of Affirmation. But my secondary was Acts of Service
After reading more about what a person whose language is Acts of Service needs to feel loved, I can see now why it's my secondary love language. I feel so loved when I come home and see that Josh has already washed the dishes or vacuumed... so Josh learned he needs to work on this.

Joshua's primary love language was also as we had guessed, Physical Touch. I informed him that I would try to do better about this, usually I start to rub his head and get bored with it very quickly. I did inform him that he married the wrong Harrell sister if he wanted to be touchy, feely all the time (my sister is a major snuggle bunny). His secondary language was Words of Affirmation. This one really surprised me. Usually he gets sick of me saying "I love you" all the time, and I've never known him to give too many compliments. 

Our Sunday School class learns about each language in depth each Sunday and I have really enjoyed the lessons, as has Josh and the other people in our class. I highly recommend the book and suggest making the recommendation to your Sunday School teacher too. 

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