Thursday, March 20, 2014

regrets

Everyone has regrets. Some of them as small as, why did I buy the black shoes when I already have six pair and then other larger ones that result in big changes. I have a few regrets that I have really been thinking about lately. 

One minor regret is that I didn't go to the top of Eiffel Tower or visit Montmartre while I was in Europe in 2012 (read here). While I had an amazing time and wouldn't trade the trip for anything (even if I did spend it in a giant boot thanks to a freak ankle injury), I was too impatient to wait in line to ride to the top of the tower and see all of Paris and I've thought about it constantly. I also wish I'd been more vocal about wanting to visit  Montmartre which is supposed to be an amazingly magical place.

Montmartre (via)

I regret that I didn't take my dad's advice and elope. My folks offered me a check and the chance to elope and I turned it down. I realize that would have meant not celebrating our wedding day with all our family, friends and church family but all that stress along with my jacked up knee that was awaiting surgery was not worth it. I didn't like how a lot of things turned out, it was a billion degrees and honestly, not that much fun. In the end, I found myself worrying a lot more about what people thought about our wedding than I did about how happy I was to be marrying my best friend.

forever my favorite wedding photo

I regret the time I wasted being angry at my Mema Kay. Now, don't get me wrong, I loved my Mema and I was devastated when she died only 2 months before my wedding but we bumped heads a lot. We were so much alike (even though I hate to admit it) that we fought often. Her blunt honesty and opinionated ways were enough to make the sanest person go crazy, but she was my Mema and she taught me so much about life, and myself. I hate that I spent a lot of my limited time with her fussing, including the month before her death in which we fought for a week straight over her wanting to wear a white dress to my wedding.
Mema, Me and Papa at my high school graduation

I regret screwing up my senior week at the beach. I don't know if other places do this, but in eastern NC, the week after graduation is spent on a beach, normally the OBX or Atlantic Beach/Emerald Isle. Friends rent a big house together and somehow find a parent to agree to "stay there" too (or at least pretend to). Well, I had big plans to enjoy a week of laying on a beach in a tiny bathing suit with my closest friends... but then I had a big falling out with my best friend... while we were at the beach... on the second day of the week. So I left and stayed with Josh. I regret it big time, that week is supposed to be the BIG party of your life, that week that you all celebrate the end of high school and the amazing times you had together. Thankfully, that friend and I made up and things are cool now, but sad that I missed out. However, I did get to enjoy a 5-day cruise to Mexico to celebrate my senior year with friends too, so I didn't totally miss out.
a few pics from Mexico

I should have other regrets, like my entire junior year of high school when I made horrible life decisions, but honestly I feel like some of those decisions led me to other GOOD decisions. The first time I ever talked to Josh was because he was picking on me about my junior year and I made some amazing friends and lost some not so good ones that year. While regrets can suck and make you wonder "what if", they also remind me that despite little regrets, I am right where I am supposed to be

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh--I have the same regret about my "senior week." I spent mine at Topsail with my best friend and we fought THE WHOLE FREAKING time. I like how honest this post was--and it's gotten me thinking about what things I regret!! I might have to copy you!

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