Monday, November 30, 2009

Chivalry is seriously dead.

Once upon a time, men held open doors for women, they gave up their seats, and even allowed them to cut in front of them in line in the grocery store if they had less items than them. Now, chivalry is dead.
When I was a junior at ECU, I rode the "Park & Ride" shuttle, which should have been named "Park & Wait to Be Late" since shuttles tend to disappoint often.
One day I boarded the bus and saw that it was completely full from a previous stop the bus had already made. I was holding my bookbag on my back, a pot of Arroz Con Leche (we made food for Dias de Los Muertos in Spanish 4), and a paper bag full of plastic bowls, spoons, & napkins, so I obviously needed to sit down.
One boy started to be a gentleman and give up his seat but when he looked at the engagement ring on my left hand he immediately sat BACK DOWN! I can only assume that he decided that since there was no chance in him hooking up with me that I didn't deserve his seat.
I gave him a look that I once saw Mema Kay gave Papa (in other words, it was a very, very mean one) and leaned up against the filthy wall of the bus to try and balance all my items without spilling the rice or falling on my face.
When the bus made its stop at Brewster building and I started to climb off, boys bombarded the bus before the passengers could exit. THIS IS NOT NICE. Bus etiquette (as written by me) says that those already on the bus should be allowed to climb off before new passengers can board.
Boys, do your mama's proud and start acting like the little gentlemen they (hopefully) raised you to be.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Money may not buy happiness, but it sure helps

I've always been a thrifty shopper and someone who usually thinks long and hard before buying myself something, mainly because I have always had to be. I have always worked and NEVER had anything handed to me. I was blessed by parents who thankfully paid my car payment & insurance, but as far as things I wanted other than that.. I was left on my own.
I thank God that Big Mark & the Wendy made work for gas money and other things I may want and I can't stand to see someone else just get a new car for no reason or be given a brand new house to live in when they get married.. but that's a totally different subject that I don't want to get started on.
Everyone hears that money can't buy happiness, but I have to say that it sure does help. With my new job, I have had to learn a whole new way of spending. No longer are Josh and I cutting back because we want to, we are now cutting back because we have no choice. We aren't even really cutting back, we're not even doing ANYTHING. Every penny we make goes to pay bills, our mortgage, and buy groceries. We don't go to the movies, go out to eat, or drive farther than we need to so we don't waste gas. It isn't a fun way to live, and I think it's going to have to change.
We have no idea how christmas presents are going to be purchased and we have even less of an idea of how we are going to afford the heating bill when it starts to get REALLY cold.
So... I think I'm going to have to start the job search again and I'm really not looking forward to it.
I was so happy when I get my new job and I really enjoy writing, but the amount I'm getting paid really doesn't compare with the amount of work I'm doing and it just isn't enough for us to live. I am all for stretching a dollar, but when I am trying to make an inch stretch to 4 miles, it just isn't happening.
I really don't want to take a job not in my field, because the last thing I need is a useless job that has nothing to do with writing or publishing that doesn't teach me anything that can be useful in a career in writing, but there is just NOTHING out there in my field.
So, please be in prayer for Josh and I as we start this journey once again. I have no idea what the christmas season has in store, but I am hoping Santa drops a career down our chimney.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Appalled. Absolutely Appalled.

Yesterday, I had to ride to the Greene County Board of Education to pick up the budget they had approved at their board meeting on Tuesday so I could complete an article I was writing. As I was leaving Snow Hill I decided to stop by the cemetery to see my Papa Donald and my Uncle Ronald's graves (I haven't been to see Papa's in awhile and I had yet to see Uncle Ronald's headstone which I was told is beautiful).
As I pulled into the cemetery, I noticed a bunch of workers were out there clearing the sidewalks and paths from where water had washed down dirt and loose grass during the horrible rain we've been having, but thought nothing of it.
I climbed out my car, smiled and said hello to one of the workers and started walking down the endless path to the Murphy plot of graves. I got there, plucked a few overgrown grass blades from around my grandfather's grave and as I bent over heard SEVERAL of the workers whistle and make nasty remarks.
How disrespectful can you get?
I was OBVIOUSLY there to visit someone since they saw me messing with a tombstone. Why would that make them think that their whistling at me would accomplish anything? If ANYTHING, it made me think even less of them.
I ignored their remarks and walked over to Uncle Ronald's tombstone (which is HUGE and beautiful with a sketch of a big semi on the bottom and a partner stone with Aunt Nancy's name on it and a ribbon that says "happily married 50 years" between the two names).
After learning my lesson last time, I squatted by the stone (which was KILLLER to my knee) instead of bending. I prayed and had a quiet moment then walked toward my car.
I reached my car and one of the men approached me and asked me who I was there to see. I was nice (like a good Southern girl, what I really wanted to do was cuss him out and slam his head into the Rodeo's hood) and said, "Family" before climbing into my car and driving away.
What is wrong with people? Now, I am not one to hate compliments and every woman feels nice when men look at her in an appreciating way, but AT A CEMETERY!?!? Seriously, what is the world coming to?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I've really got to do better about updating this.

I was told today, for the 240,293,842nd time, that I am "just too young" to be married. Like always I just gave the lady a smile and a weird giggle when I really wanted to slam my camera and notebook down (i was interviewing her for the paper) and pull out all the bills in my pocket book, show her my business cards, tell her about how long Josh & I have been together, and remind her that I am 5'9 and am not afraid to hit an old lady.
When are you ever "old enough" to be married? I have a college degree, a full-time big girl job, a home (well I have a mortgage, the bank technically has a home), bills to pay, and I am completely in love with Joshua Michael Edmondson. Who is to say I can't be married?
I do agree that NO ONE should be married before they can provide for themselves, are no longer on Mommy and Daddy's dollar, and are responsible enough to handle bills and a husband, but age doesn't determine that.
Dana Webb Walter's mema, Mrs. Hilda Webb was married when she was 14 if I'm not mistaken and she certainly did a good job making a household with Mr. Henry Ralph and raising Mr. Ralph Dawn didn't she!? (if you don't know Mrs. Hilda, trust me she did). Back in the day people got married young because they grew up faster and knew how to work and provide and cook and clean and all those fun things that go along with being a married person.
I very heavily FROWN upon those who get married then don't work and let their parents pay their bills, house them, clean their laundry and dishes, and provide them with everything they need. I understand in some circumstances, such as the loss of a job or sudden sickness and unexpected big bills, that parents help their children out. But this should NOT be an everyday thing.
While Josh and I were on our honeymoon, we saw a honeymooning couple that weren't old enough to drink. THAT seems pretty young to get married, but I would never have the audacity to tell them so.
In conclusion, if you want to see me pull off my Jack Roger sandal and hit you in the face with the little wooden sole, tell me just how young I am to be married.

I am going to climb up on my soap box.

I watched the movie "Milk" starring Sean Penn a couple of weeks ago... and CRIED my eyeballs out. In case you haven't seen it, the story is about Harvey Milk, the first openly gay elected official in San Francisco.
It's common knowledge that I am very emotional, in fact anyone who went to the weddings of Dana Webb Walters or Carla Forehand Baker saw me cry in front of crowds of people, but this movie really, really moved me.
A lot of people may not know that my dad's oldest brother, Kenneth Lang Harrell, died of AIDS when I was around 3 years old. Uncle Kenny was gay.
In fact, the week before I watched "Milk" I was going through some boxes of Mema Kay's and found a box of letters, cards, and wedding invitations that had belonged to Uncle Kenny and a box of letters that he had sent Mema and Papa while he was in NY (he lived there in the late 80's and early 90's). I read each thing he had thought to keep/send and was pleasantly surprised by how much he reminded me of myself. He was catty, dry, obviously had no idea when to filter his thoughts from his brain to his mouth, and totally open about who he was. He was also a writer.
As I watched "Milk" I couldn't get over how ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE people were to the gay community, then I realized it really isn't that much different here and now.
One thing I want to make VERY clear is that judging someone is never right. I don't understand how religious groups can honestly say "God hates gay people." Horrible. I am Southern Baptist, which I am ashamed to say is a denomination that is very well known for condemning homosexuality.
I know that the bible says in Leviticus 18:22 "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." However, the bible also says in Romans 3:23 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". So if we are ALL sinners, what gives us the right to judge another and if you are condemning one of God's children, you are also condemning yourself. We have a few gay and lesbian people at Webbs Chapel, they are god-fearing, honest, and good people, but supposedly God hates them? I think not. One of the most knowledge people at our church that knows more about the bible, its history, and God than anyone I know and she is gay. So, what?
I hear preachers say that people who leave a gay lifestyle aren't allowed to be official church members or hold titles/teach sunday school classes in the church. Once again, we ARE ALL SINNERS, so those currently holding positions are also sinners, who are we to say one person's sin is great than another?

My Uncle Kenny was a brilliant man, remind me one day to tell you about how he fooled my grandparents into thinking he actually graduated from UNC instead of dropping out . And I love him, as does the rest of our family.
Try to utter the word "faggot" or judge another person around me, I dare you.