Tuesday, May 25, 2010

sororities and throwing chairs

"They didn't agree on much. In fact they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time and they challenged each other everyday. But in spite their differences, they had one important thing in common, they were crazy about each other." The Notebook

As I have said before, Josh and I were alike in a lot of ways, but different in others.
Josh was brought up like me in that he had grown up in church and around his family, but there were some things he hadn't been taught as a child that I had been, just like there are some things the Edmondson's taught him that my parents hadn't instilled in me.

I was a preppy girl that had manners beat into her and had been told the socially acceptable way to handle any situation. Josh had manners, but only used them when necessary and since he hadn't been forced to attend lots of social occasions he didn't always know how to handle them.
So, I fussed over his outfit choices or how he blew his nose at the table at a nice restaurant or that he rushed right into placing his order without waiting for the ladies at the table to give theirs first, while he fussed at me for dressing up too much, being uptight and worrying about silly things.
In a way, I liked that about Josh. He wasn't a pompous you-know-what like the guys I went to private school with and didn't care what other people thought of him.

Well, those fights were nothing compared to what we now call "the chair throwing incident of 05".

In August 2005, after we'd only been officially dating for around 7 months, I left home to attend UNC-Wilmington.
I didn't like it.
Not because Josh wasn't there or because I was homesick, but because I just didn't fit in there.
I needed a football team to cheer for and a feeling of camaraderie with my classmates that cheering for the same team brings (like I'd always experienced when attending ECU football games or a Carolina basketball game).
So, I decided to transfer to ECU after my freshman year at UNCW. And since I would be transferring in as a Sophomore I was worried I wouldn't meet many people since most students meet their friends while they are staying in the dorms their freshman year or during freshman activities.
Therefore, I decided I might join a sorority at ECU.
Josh was less than thrilled about the idea of me rushing.
In fact, the day I told him on the phone he freaked out.
He was worried that the sorority would take up WAY too much of my time and he didn’t want me around the fraternity guys that the girls hung out with.
This sent me into a rage. Who was he to tell me who I could hang out with, and was he so insecure about our relationship that I couldn't hang out with frat guys and him trust me?
I voiced this opinion and he flippppped.
He claimed that all the sorority girls he knew at ECU were dumb and slutty (not true, I know a few of the sisters at ECU and they are all sweet and smart) and he didn't want me to become like them.
So I hung up on him, got in my car and drove from my dorm to the beach.
I sat on the beach and fumed. How stereotypical of him! I was so worried I was going to be the girl that only hung out with her boyfriend and people she knew from high school once I got to ECU and here he was making it worse.
Meanwhile, Josh sat in Greenville. His neighbor (who later became my roommate and is now the wife of his best friend Ryan) watched as Josh exited his duplex with his metal, folding desk chair and threw it into the street, them walk back inside.
Apparently this calmed him down a little because he called me back and said he was sorry and explained his anger towards the issue.
Turns out, Josh was worried that I would join a sorority and find a fraternity boy that had the manners, money and wardrobe that Josh thought he lacked. He said, “You’ll upgrade and find a guy who does everything right and I’ll lose you to some preppy rich guy.”
I told him, “If I wanted one of those kinds of guys, I wouldn’t be dating you. You fit every mold that I want you to and I love you for it.”

When I transferred to ECU, I decided not to join a sorority. I met lots of people in my English classes that I liked and while I still hung out with people I went to H.S. with, it wasn’t like they were my only friends.

We enjoyed football games, parties and tailgates together and our core group of friends remained close through college and we’re still great friends now. In fact, most of those people were in our wedding. Read about our engagement story tomorrow!

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