Tuesday, February 4, 2014

walking disaster

I am what most people would call clumsy or accident prone. Things happen to me that I can't explain. But today I present to you the top Lauren hurt herself (or someone else) stories...

1. I once almost chopped my finger off in a fan.
The only bone I've ever broken (besides some toes), was my pinkie finger. Not from anything fun like playing flag football, but from trying to move a box fan.
I was moving the fan (that was turned on) while working at the drug store and my pinky finger slipped inside and got twisted, cut open and broken. And this is all I have to show for it:
I refused to get stitches (which I needed terribly) and walked around with a mangled pinky for a good 4 weeks.

2. I fell on an oven door.
I was in my mema's kitchen when I was around 3 and fell onto the open oven door. You can read the whole story here, but basically it is just proof that my clumsiness started at a young age.
how cute is my little netting/bandage though?

3. I almost ruined a free trip to Europe by severely spraining my ankle
I had the chance of a lifetime to chaperon a group of high school juniors and seniors on a 7-day trip to Paris, Florence & Rome. A week before the trip I was walking in my Clark Wallabees and rolled my ankle so hard that the bone touched the pavement.

You can read the whole story here, but thanks to a giant boot (and a hefty dose of pain meds), I was able to enjoy my trip!

the boot touring the Piazza
4. I dropped a weight on my face.
There are thankfully no pictures from this adventure, but when I was a sophomore in college, I was laying on the floor doing ab exercises. I was holding a twelve pound weight and had my legs in the air, reaching for my toes while laying on my back. I dropped the weight onto my face, blacked my eye and most of my nose/cheek bone and knocked myself out. Tons of fun.
It basically looked like this for 3 weeks, try explaining that injury to random people.

5. I broke someone else's ankle by tripping over them
During a soccer game in high school against our arch nemesis, Tarboro High School, I tripped over a girl while we were both running after the ball and fell so hard and awkwardly on top of her, it broke her ankle. The worst part? My mom used to work with the other girl's mom. So when we were walking to the car after the game, the mom (who had stayed behind while the girl's dad took her to the ER since the girl's sister was playing soccer too) was talking to MY mom about the "klutz" that broke her daughter's ankle. My mom was so embarrassed she pretended like she didn't know me. Kill me.

What about you? Ever trip over your own feet (or someone else's) or injure yourself in a crazy way?


  1. Hahahah omg. I love this. We are the same person. I recently mangled my finger in a fan, I got my head stuck in a shopping cart when I was little, and managed to get a splinter in my ass during gym. I haven't moved on to maiming other people though so you have me beat there.

  2. all the time! I also have random injuries that I never know how they happen.

  3. I had that same boot a few months ago. Even though I was watching where I was going, I missed the last step while trying to walk down the stairs. My ankle bone touched the pavement too. I wasn't the same for about 2 months. No fun! I'm glad you didn't have to miss your trip though! Hopefully your injury days are over!