dah-dun, dah-dun, dah-dun... bathing suit season is coming

(okay, please imagine that those "dah-dun"s sound like the shark attack theme.)

it's coming, the scariest thing since that freaky girl from The Ring... bathing suit season.

This year, I am even more terrified than usual to don a revealing suit in front of people since I have now carried a giant child inside of me, stretching my stomach muscles, putting stretch marks in places I didn't know were possible and making me thighs the size of small countries.

Thankfully, I have actually stuck to my workout regimen so far, so hopefully things won't be so grotesque once the weather gets super warm.

So now the issue is, what do I wear? Bikinis are officially out since the stretch marks on my stomach and sides are horrible enough to scare small children (While I was pregnant I actually thought I wasn't getting any stretch marks on my stomach at all... come to find out they were hiding on the underside of my belly that I couldn't see... awesome). So, one pieces it is, preferably one that costs less than $50.

I like this polka dot one piece by St. John's Bay, especially since it has a thing in it called "Secretly Slender" that will hold in my loosey goosey belly.

I also like this ruffle one-piece by Merona at Target (I really like the $34.99 price tag) but I wish it was in another color, because I already have a navy bathing suit - also, why are ALL ruffle one pieces navy, brown or black these days?!

then there's this shirred one piece by a.n.a. at J.C. Penny, but I wish it was patterned since I already have so many solid suits.

Here's a fun printed Bisou Bisou tankini suit, it may not be a one piece but at least it would hide my stomach

Of course, there are plenty of one pieces I like that are over $50 but my darling husband has put a cap on my spending, you know since we have a butt to diaper now.

For example, I adore this Trina Turk "Palma Sola" suit... but it's $109 over my budget

And this precious La Blanca 'Tangiers' Sweetheart One Piece, which is actually on sale for $78, but still too expensive.

And this Carmen Marc Valvo Mozambique Printed Maillot one piece that is also out of my price range.

Spanx also has a great suit (in both style and the fact that it will suck in everything that's hanging out) called Sheer Elegance but it is WAY more pricey than allowed at $178.

I really like these two Ralph Lauren one pieces too, the paisley print is so cute and it's nice to see a ruffled bathing suit that isn't blue! But at $103 it too costs more than I am allowed to spend.

Why are all the cute ones so pricey. sad face.